many thoughts went through my mind,
today and ytd. many things to think.
alot. it's really alot.
i have so many things yet to say,
so many yet to ask, yet to know.
but i doubt i'd get my answer anyways.
not in the current, not in the near future.
not in any of my lifetimes.
cause, i'm just so lack of the courage to ask.
the guts to ask. i don't think i'm that brave anymore.
i don't think it's possible to ask anymore.
besides, i'm no whoever to ask.
even if i wish so much for an answer, be good or bad.
just an answer, honest answer. it would help alot.
my thoughts went by, many things to think,
many happenings occurred. too many.
it's neverending.

i've made my decision, no matter how hard.
i will try, i will make it into reality.
even if it's to my unwillingness. i try.
我依然还是放不下!!!!!!!!
i tried. i tried. i tried so hard.
perhaps i've expected too much lehrs,
i thought i could from the very beginning;
now i realise i really cannot. it's not easy.
i don't ask for more anymore either.
i'm just glad, it's once beautiful.
just like the fireworks we see, once in a year.
so beautiful, yet it doesn't last.
it's the logic. beautiful things nvr lasts.
to let go and to accept is reality.
but everything requires time, i do need more time.
my blog song; my life. it's in a mess!
listening to the song repeatly, it's sad!
it reminds me of everything lahrs. hais.
sometimes i do ask myself, why must you...
i don't understand. seriously, i could close an eye.
but this time i just cnt. it's impossible.
i do think, perhaps not asking for the truth would be good too.
yet, i don't want any lies. it's in a whirl.
i pondered for many days already,
the thoughts haven't gone.
i still can't forget, i think you know it too.
the things that happen now,
no longer bring any pain. or whatever lahrs.
spending lots of time with me; you'll know what i mean.
cause seriously, it doesn't mean a thing at all.