I'M MISSING EVERYBODY!

AHHHHHHHHHS!
it's been raining for the entire day.
so fedup lahrs. since morning lahrs.
dread to get out of the bed so much.
& my fucking maid is so ...
make decisions without my permission.
so irritated and fed up cans.
i sat down down alone like an idoit!
many things went thru my mind.
i thot alot. i lost alot thru all the happenings.
this time, i lost terribly.
i truely lost, i lost everything.
everything has changed,
nothing remains the same any longer.
it's all a different thing now.
i don't understand anything anymore, no longer.
i can't accept facts and reality.
i know i have to, i know i must.
perhaps; i just need more time.
i don't understand if you ever understand.
i don't know. i know nothing anymore.
i have so many things to say,
so many yet to ask.
but i'm in no position to say to ask either.
what's the point then?
what's the use of asking anyways.
cos i know the answer i'll get might not be what i wan.
but i seriously just want to let my mind peace off.
i seriously need a break!

my morning life, dreads.
my night life, kills.
i don't want to live on with such life.
you took my peaceful life away.
apologies don't help anymore.
i don't ask for anymore either,
do what you really want, you really wish.
i'll regain my normal life once i have everything resolve.
take it as it's none of your problem,
pretend you're out of this.
i'll clear the mess then. leave out.
numb my pain for eternity.
i dread looking at your words now, it's stressed!
it doesn't give any peace. FUCK OFF!
serious mood swings that occurs.
我会试着把你忘掉. i'll try.