so tired that i cnt be bothered to blog ytd.
went for those rituals or prayings or whatsoever lahrs.
i don't really bother.
since i can't go in with my shorts. T.T
went shopping around lohrs.
had a hard time to coax bryan cousin. LOLS.
know him well, he seriously is tough.
but cute lahrs. haaaas.
went for dinner after everything lohrs.
go general hospital again. T.T
saw dots thr. lols.
no face see her. so 'scared'. hahas.
see till her i also don't dare raise my head.
darn funny lohrs.
i don't disclose ppl's name. xDD
dhen next shift came. =.=
so go home rest. sian.
chat on phone with eileen cousin till 2plus.

woke up so early in the morning sia.
just to check austin cousin's sms. T.T
waste of time lohrs.
slept till 11am got dragged up again.
by hweekoon & olivia. damn tired.
dhen prepared & all, went batok mrt station.
meet hweekoon.
accompanied her take 188 till my house thr.
cnt go back sleep liao. =.=
so watched my 天外飞仙 dvd. damn nice!
maybe i'm going general hospital to 'work' again.
it's like so called changing shirt lohrs. serious.
like we're thr to wait till another person come,
dhen we leave. 'change shift' - no offences.

didn't bother to blog much,
cos i was so fed up.
editting everything once again,
in more fine details & elaborations.
prepared & all. went causeway point.
saw yanming. he changed.
last time he came to my house so different.
like small boy, cutecute wan. lols.
nvm. he also going cwp.
separate way lahrs. T.T
went pro trim to make appointment.
wanted to go haircut at jean yip at first thot.
but i don't know any hair stylist inside.
so choose pro trim in the end.
dhen went popular buy stationaries.
bhot TSGS book 15. nice.
went over to LY. rest & ate.
around 5 dhen go back cwp for haircut.
didn't appoint any hair stylist at the beginning.
so they gave me a newbie lohrs. =.=''
cut for about an hour. soso lahrs.
not very nice thou. but alrights.
rebonding leaving for another time.
in rush today, T.T
maybe sometime in this week i'll be going for rebonding again.
i think since my last rebonding also haven't half a year.
so maybe rebonding just the fringe only. T.T
shopped around dhen waited for my dad.
he came over to pick me & my mom to amk.
ate steamboat for dinner at there. LOLS.
dhen go grand-uncle's funeral. good bless.
chat awhile dhen went general hospital.
seeming like i'm going there for shopping everyday now.
going into different wards everyday to visit lohrs.
it's like everybody is admitting into hospital. T.T
damn funny anyways. LOLS.
went home after everything lohrs. TIRED.

didn't went bugis to eat ytd lahrs.
everybody's so busy doing their own prayings or rituals.
rot at home with my sister lohrs.
it's our christmas. T.T
parents came home about 10plus.
told me hilarious stories at west coast. haaas.
all of them so blurr wan.
dhen 11plus went back west coast to get some stuff.
slept around 3plus.
chatted with hweekoon till around 2plus.
funny cans. LOLS.

supposing to go causeway point for haircut & rebonding today.
&nnd buy my pens, uniforms, shoes & everything.
but i'm just too lazy lohrs. T.T
changing it to tml lahrs. dots.
learning to sleep early nowadays.
or else i'll be so dead when school reopens.
cos i cnt sleep early! lols.
I'M SO BORED!
somebody jio me out please! study is the best!
i haven't touched my holiday assignments. FCUK!

just woke up not long ago.
seriously, i'm so tired.
not just physically; but also mentally & everything.
too tired. i'm really tired.
my reasons will be stated at the end of the post.
went grandparents house in the evening,
bhot lots of gifts & food lahrs.
uncle came to fetch us lohrs.
cos brother drove the car to east coast for party.
so whatever lohrs, give him use.
dhen went thr, waited & eat.
so many kids thr lahrs. so cute lehrs. hehs.
brought baobei thr also. xiao baobeis so cute!
played & all when everybody arrived lohrs.
played timebomb, FUN!
kelvin cousin got sabo. hahaaas.
dhen watched " are you scared "
alright lahrs, not VERY scary lohrs. just violent.
had gift exchange after that.
got a damn cute gift lahrs.
stayed thr till around 4am, went home.
so tired lahrs.
way home, many thots came in. many.
so sad lohrs. make me feel tired.
yet happy. but it's the past alr.
我会一直等待

updated version;
i feel so stress lahrs.
this may sound very drama lohrs.
but it is happening in my life.
my friends life that's a torment,
my family life that's unpredictable.
affects every part of my life.
& YOU left me at this moment.
disappointed. yet i have to be strong.
to walk thru everything with all my relatives.
to face reality with all of them.
to pray for things to change.
to cheer my friends up thou they show a smiling face.
to pull them thru such obstacles.
to pray hard for my gan-jie.
to make her feel bless & safe.
to assure her nothing will go wrong.
it's really not easy.
i'm saying this not because i'm finding ppl to pity me.
or i'm pitying them or whatsoever.
i simply just want to state the facts,
of how & why i'm reacted to some ppl in somedays.
cos everything that's occurring now,
IS affecting my everyday life & mood.
it truely is very drama, like those in the movies.
yet in life it really does happens.
none would believe.
unless it's happening on you.
i chose not to list out the problems they are having.
cos i don't think it's a glorious thing.
there's no need to announce.
just want to release part of my stress,
not on anyone. just blogging.

oh ya!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

deadbeat. super uber tired.
ytd was alr tired enough.
today woke up early also.
sososo deprived from sleep lehs.
i seem to wake up late, but i'm sleeping late lehs.
it's not as thou i'm sleeping early lohrs.
dots. went IMM today.
prepared all the christmas exchange gifts lohrs.
went TAKA bhot jewelleries for my mom.
bhot a wallet for my maid.
&nnd other junks for the exchange lohrs.
supposing one person just bring one.
but my family buy around 2o gifts lohrs.
just in case the elders don't buy mahrs.
sort of prepare for them (:
received my second & third christmas gift from parents & yihui.
THANKS so much. so darn beautiful. haaas.
received my first gift from my sister last night.
escada perfume! wakakas~ sweeeeet.
everybody's out to dragonfly lehrs hais.
some went over to SGH, i'm rotting at home.
saw some ppl today, i wonder if it was my illusion or reality.
i do hope it's reality, yet i don't bleaf my eyes.
so anyways, i won't bother either.
be it, it's reality or illusions; i won't think much.
hoping that ben & michiko words would come true.
i still have hopes, i don't deny.
yet; i know karyan, yukirie & jeslyn sisters' words are a fact.
it's is a fact; &nnd i know it well lahrs. T.T

seriously, this christmas is terrible.
many things happen lahrs.
i rmb one day, went shopping.
entered every shop & all are playing the same song.
so sad cans. playing last christmas.
quite mad actually. cos last christmas i lost.
so does this christmas. hais.
no point grieving over either.
all of us have to be strong now.
so that she will feel secure,
& find happiness around.
it's scary, yet it's a meaningful lesson.
christmas. does it have to turn out so terrible?
hope things would change for the better.
i have two wishes now lohrs,
one; everything would change back to normal.
two; ben & michiko words to come true.
but i doubt this two wishes would ever come true.
so i don't pin too much hopes. (:
SMILE, everything would be over soon.

i'm just backed home again.
also going home so late nowadays.
there aren't any choices either.
woke up so early in the morning again.
just to get prepare &nnd all lahrs.
waited for auntie to come over &nnd fetch me.
she fetch me &nnd judith cousin to eileen cousin house.
went there to pick her up;
then she sent us to jurong point lohrs.
bhot movie tickets, dhen went for lunch.
watch curse of the golden flower.

very nice movie lahrs.
chatted on so many thing when eating.
it's really scary lahrs.
everything just happened so fast, so quick.
there wasn't even time to react.
feelings cnt be shown either.
everybody has to be strong at this time.
dhen went walking around lohrs.
movie was quite gross &nnd violent lahrs.
but it's still funny lohrs. LOLS.
after movie then went walking around.
had my fifth piercing today. PAIN!
yellow salesgirls really has got good memories lehs.
can rmb me &nnd eileen cousin for so long. LOLS.
wanted to buy my musical box.
tough luck! it's the last piece, i gave it up lahrs.
forget it lohrs. some other time then.
wanted to buy a snow globe for christmas lohrs.
but then, my cousins say like not worth.
dots! in case like give till someone don't appreciate,
sort of waste money lohrs.
cos it's $20 lahrs. i'm anything lohrs.
then bhot smthg else lahrs. T.T
after all the top ups &nnd buying.
sent judith cousin to jurong east.
her mom's fetching her from there,
so yaya. brought her thr lohrs.
then go back jurong point again. zzz...
we're so lame lahrs.
cos i need go eileen cousin house take my toys!
went to florist in search for bouquets.
didn't find my liking or whatever lahrs.
so end up; nvr buy.
emptyhanded to SGH again.
i totally have no idea what to buy.
seeming like everybody is always emptyhanded going there.
so plain so simple.
yet i don't know what to buy also. =.=
think i'll be going jurong point again.
need to buy somemore clothes for christmas. =.=

i've just arrived home, it's a busy day.
morning woke up darn early,
&nnd i'm dilly dally preparing to go out.
sort of past my estimated timing. LOLS.
stupid computer addiction, blame it!
went causeway point, cabbed thr.
i was in a rush alr.
went bank to settle some stuff.
dhen went to bring uncle for some rituals.
fucked up okays!
i totally died in the car cans.
didn't come out at all lahrs, cos i can't!
i'm in shorts, &nnd whatever rules they have;
i can't go in for the rituals &nnd sayings.
so yaya, papaya! i stayed in the car.
enjoyed my dvd lohrs. no choice.
it rained after my shows,
&nnd i stood in the rain like an idoit!
i cnt stand sitting in the car anymore. LOLS.
sorry girls; i didn't have the time to do project.**
afterthat, went to get some fishes.
&nnd deliver door to door, giveaways!
grandpa caught them, fancy giving us;
when my maid don't know how to clean it. T.T
so gave all away. IT STINKS!
dhendhen went singapore general hospital.
second visit in since last year i think.
it's the same hospital ALWAYS.
went up, visiting. stood there for an hour or so.
definitely more lahrs. so hungry lahrs.
get my dad to accompany me to 7-elevens.
bhot sandwiches! yumyum!
ended my hunger then. cousins came.
chated awhile. bingbing &nnd co. so cute cans.
wanted to stay later, but then..
tml gotta' send grandparents for some rituals i guess.
or some prayings. i don't know.
at 4am! T.T thank god i don't need to go.
it's just my dad fetching them.
so dad need to leave early;
&nnd i must follow back home. =.=
i don't understand all these lahrs.
may god bless them. (:
went around buying food for grandparents tml.
dhen home-d.
bhot uber many ice-creams in the noooon!
tatas~! i'm so loving it.
so late alr. i really need to sleep.
it's not my usual sleeping time;
but i have to.
or else, i wont be awake by tml morning.
super tired. super stress.
fucked up lahrs, entire well planned trip need to postpone.
nvm. for the sake of life &nnd death.
i forsake my trip. forget it.

so shag for the entire day lahrs.
i don't know why also.
my mind just flash back of all the pasts.
big matters, small matter; everything.
don't know to be happy or sad either.
didn't went anywhr. dots.
suppose to be going to jurong point,
end up cancelled alr lahrs. since monday.
tml going many places, tatas!
towntowntown~ i hope so lahrs.
my nail has been breaking, fucked up lahrs!
i'm so going to do extensions if i'm doing medicure tml!
i think i'm gonna' do lahrs,
so afraid it'll turn out bad!
&& it's only a week or two left to school reopen!
OMFG! holiday assignments not done.
projects not done.
i'm still dreaming. T.T still relaxing. LOLS
god; turn me on for school preparation please.
zouk & dragonfly still in my mind.
AHHHHS! 3-5years down before entering.
i think i'm gonna' get my musical box on tml or friday.
T.T it's damn expensive okays!
anyways; i'm not paying for it either. lalaaas~
i'm gonna' ask my mom pay it. haaaaa! i'm evil!
okays. i seriously need an early night.
i need to be up so early tml,
so i can prepare to go out EARLIER.
hahas. in case you don't know;
i'm taking super long to prepare to go out. xD
i'm wondering if i should go for another piercing.
real stupid cousin i'm having. =XX
first; she buys musical box without waiting for me.
next; she goes piercing! ahhs. forget it.
she brings her mom, i'll bring mine! LOLS.
i'm going to bed soon, i know it's early.
but i can't help it. haaaaaaaas~

the post i think i'd like to present it to someone;
not that important to me yet is still a precious member in my life.
thou you haven't really bring happiness or sorrows to me.
but without you, i don't think things wouldbe the same.
there weren't be joys around festivals.
there weren't be fireworks during new year =X
she's none other than one of my relative =.=''
i shall not disclose the name,
cos at this point of time; i think it's no longer neccessary.
i just pray to god, to hope for recovery for her.
life seriously IS short.
it's not very long neither it is very short.
at certain points of life;
we find it long, yet to others it may be short.
thus, we shall always cherish the times we have.
and not regret when it's too late.
cos, certain things are just unpredictable.
sorrows, pain, anger, happiness; 喜怒哀乐.
it's what we gain in life.
do what you serious want, & don't regret.
before you in debt with lots of illness,
it isn't a great thing.
you've enjoyed life, you should know you'll suffer someday.
everything cnt be predicted, by us. humans.
it's destiny, it's fate.
what's meant to be yours, it WILL be yours.
there's a saying; "不在乎天长地久,
只在乎曾经拥有".
it's doesn't matter if it ever lasts,
but at least you've once own it. it's yours.
life has been arranged by god, everything is a gift from god.
don't complain, don't overjoy.
everything is just being arrange long before,
accept it. it's fate, it's destiny.
do what you can now, with the time you have.
i have my piece said, may god bless you always.
may a kind soul do the rightful thing.
i send my apologies, for myself & my family.
due to some rituals we're having. sorry.
regards to your family and yourself.
other relatives out there, if you ever see this;
do send my regards for me. thanks.
seriously; if i were the suitable one.
i'll agree. cos it's fate, it's destiny that it's linked.

woke up sharp at 1130 lols.
more than 12hrs of sleep tatas~
finally i slept so peacefully.
still i need to wake up. T.T
cos of the meeting i'm having in school.
our artpiece! wakakas~ it's a puzzle lahrs.
done by liting, nabilah, fatin & me. hehs.
painting and drawing. love it so much.
it's for next year 1E5 lahrs. the juniors. hahas.
damn nice lahrs. hahas.




















spend about 4hrs. but we spent abt 3hrs doing.
1hr eating. LOLS still we finished it.
went back home after everything.
dead beat! i've just receive a super bad news.
wellwell. i just wish her to recover soon. (:
stupid cousin bhot her musical box. ahhhs.
i want one too. stupid her.
nvr wait for me go buy together. T.T
nvm, i'll get mine soooooon tooo. hahaaaas.

i'll learn to be strong.
to put the past down.
i don't understand how i can really talk like e usual way actually.
but i just did it.
well, perhaps i've really think thru everything alr.
i just hope things would change for the better now.
我会学着把你忘掉. i seriously will.
no matter what, i would. & i will.
no matter how much you've hurt me,
it doesn't matter anymore.
it's the past.
i'll learn to forget everything.

I'M MISSING EVERYBODY!

AHHHHHHHHHS!
it's been raining for the entire day.
so fedup lahrs. since morning lahrs.
dread to get out of the bed so much.
& my fucking maid is so ...
make decisions without my permission.
so irritated and fed up cans.
i sat down down alone like an idoit!
many things went thru my mind.
i thot alot. i lost alot thru all the happenings.
this time, i lost terribly.
i truely lost, i lost everything.
everything has changed,
nothing remains the same any longer.
it's all a different thing now.
i don't understand anything anymore, no longer.
i can't accept facts and reality.
i know i have to, i know i must.
perhaps; i just need more time.
i don't understand if you ever understand.
i don't know. i know nothing anymore.
i have so many things to say,
so many yet to ask.
but i'm in no position to say to ask either.
what's the point then?
what's the use of asking anyways.
cos i know the answer i'll get might not be what i wan.
but i seriously just want to let my mind peace off.
i seriously need a break!

my morning life, dreads.
my night life, kills.
i don't want to live on with such life.
you took my peaceful life away.
apologies don't help anymore.
i don't ask for anymore either,
do what you really want, you really wish.
i'll regain my normal life once i have everything resolve.
take it as it's none of your problem,
pretend you're out of this.
i'll clear the mess then. leave out.
numb my pain for eternity.
i dread looking at your words now, it's stressed!
it doesn't give any peace. FUCK OFF!
serious mood swings that occurs.
我会试着把你忘掉. i'll try.

many thoughts went through my mind,
today and ytd. many things to think.
alot. it's really alot.
i have so many things yet to say,
so many yet to ask, yet to know.
but i doubt i'd get my answer anyways.
not in the current, not in the near future.
not in any of my lifetimes.
cause, i'm just so lack of the courage to ask.
the guts to ask. i don't think i'm that brave anymore.
i don't think it's possible to ask anymore.
besides, i'm no whoever to ask.
even if i wish so much for an answer, be good or bad.
just an answer, honest answer. it would help alot.
my thoughts went by, many things to think,
many happenings occurred. too many.
it's neverending.

i've made my decision, no matter how hard.
i will try, i will make it into reality.
even if it's to my unwillingness. i try.
我依然还是放不下!!!!!!!!
i tried. i tried. i tried so hard.
perhaps i've expected too much lehrs,
i thought i could from the very beginning;
now i realise i really cannot. it's not easy.
i don't ask for more anymore either.
i'm just glad, it's once beautiful.
just like the fireworks we see, once in a year.
so beautiful, yet it doesn't last.
it's the logic. beautiful things nvr lasts.
to let go and to accept is reality.
but everything requires time, i do need more time.
my blog song; my life. it's in a mess!
listening to the song repeatly, it's sad!
it reminds me of everything lahrs. hais.
sometimes i do ask myself, why must you...
i don't understand. seriously, i could close an eye.
but this time i just cnt. it's impossible.
i do think, perhaps not asking for the truth would be good too.
yet, i don't want any lies. it's in a whirl.
i pondered for many days already,
the thoughts haven't gone.
i still can't forget, i think you know it too.
the things that happen now,
no longer bring any pain. or whatever lahrs.
spending lots of time with me; you'll know what i mean.
cause seriously, it doesn't mean a thing at all.

i rot no more =.=
slept at 5am previous day.
woke up at 12nn, prepared and all.
i went out. went causeway point.
walk around, moodless.
i went over to the LY indust.
fedup, saw no one thr also.
i guess everybody went home,
dhen met up with my mother.
lalaaas~ cabbed to bugis. i'm darn tired.
shopped around, bhot demin shorts again =.=''
&& shoes, bags and i dont know.
anyways, went nokia shop also.
saw the fucking beautiful N93. darn nice.
the best gift i'm gonna' have! but it's big.
it's alright, cos i super love it! haaaaas.
bhot blahs__* concert dvd, darn nice.
after that went for food, didn't quite numb myself.
everything's in a whirl still.
watched singapore dreaming, uber funny lahrs.
worth to watch ahrs. haaaaas.
i'm throwing 2 movie tickets tml, damn shit lahrs.
nobody free to accompany me lahrs,
or rather say i'm lazy too. haaas TIRED~
zzzz....... pure lameness here. nvm.
somebody numb my pain please!

REPLIES;

joanne: i miss you uber much lahrs. xD
tinq: if you say so then. i have no comments anymore.
benBEN**: zzz... uhhs. thanks. (: takecares ahrs.

I WANT TO GO TOWN!
I WANT TO GO PASTAMANIA & EAT!
I WANT KILL MYSELF,
NUMB MYSELF WITH ALL THESE, I'M SUFFOCATING!
i need someone so badly to accompany me 24h by my side.
shop with me till i go crazy,
eat with me like ghosts,
laugh with me like idoits!
i want to forget all the past memories.
i tried so hard already, it's the limit.
it isn't as easy as to be said.
easy come easy go? it's not easy you know!?!?
i don't have any regrets letting go either,
but it's just too hard to erase everything!
you've made me loss trust once again,
thou you ain't the first one.
but still ... it's not easy.
you should know. forget it.
it's no point saying all these either.
i just want to numb myself from reality.
who's so free to accompany for days?
from morning till night, town and town.
i have no money to provide for these T.T
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHS!
town town town! food food food!
i cnt stand the gruesome food in my daily life,
i want to relax! tatas~

the living or the dead.
i'm alive once again. i survived thru.
with the pain i'm having, i let go.
now i've survived once again!
i'll let go of the past once more, & start my life.
i focus on my juniors now. tatas.
in the process of preparing for them.
i let life follow the wind, & walk on.
spot me by the stairs, you know what i'm up to. T.T
i have something in my mind for christmas gift liao,
it's something everybody could give the same.
repay me with this, if you wish. haaas.
it kills, yet it provides happiness.
it's suffering, yet it releases stress.
the one & only, i survived on.
it brought me to today, it help me thru.
it gave me life, allowed me to survived once more.
preparation for christmas gifts currently,
list down anything you'd like to have.
i'll try my best & fulfill your wish. heehs.

REPLIES FOR TAGBOARD;

tinq & maine}} : is that self entertainment? i hope not.
it's my affairs, i don't wish anyone to interfere.
i have it explained clearly, i don't need any comments. thank you.
eileen: zzzz.. LOLS. okays haaas. 29dec ahrs?
jowytan: T.T so when you getting your results back? (:

我让你走了, 这是我的决定; 我不会后悔, 不会伤心难过.
I MISS ENEN BAOBEI SO MUCH!

;some other day for tagboard replies.

BACK!

my trip was terribly bad, rough details; you'll know why.
it's super uber terrible, i swear it's e worst!

friday, o812o6.
left around 2pm nearing 3pm.
watched power ranger vcd with bryan baobei.
LOLS. super lame but quite interesting at times. haaas.
dhen hear mp3 all e way, didn't have any mood to sleep or anything.
i'm e tourguide alrights! LOLS.
bring them e way to thr haaas; drive thru.
three cars together. hahas. so comic lahrs.
need to keep watch of e other two car if they're following,
& if we're on e right track. hahas.
quite fun yet busy & tiring.
reach thr damn late lehrs, check in.
dhen went to have dinner, everybody's starving.
except for kids. didn't eat much just an egg;
& a few mouths of porridge is all i have.
dhen we went back to e hotel lehrs. DOTS.
didn't sleep with judith cousin, played speed ..
played till 3plus dhen slept for 2 pathetic hours.
& we're up once again.
did many lame things while everybody's asleep. hahas.

saturday, o912o6.
had breakfast at hotel, i paid for my portion.
due to some arguements e adults are having.
so nagging, that i couldn't care less.
it's like for what gotta' be so stingy during holiday?!
please lahrs; open up your minds lehs.
think of others can anot?
imagine everybody go eat buffet, leave without you;
you happy mehs? so i gave my cousin e free voucher.
& entitle myself for e PAID one. dots.
dhen went back to our after eating,
e adults went to some other places for breakfast. hahas.
after that we left for genting.
2 pathetic cars up only. from 3 to 2.
imagine how tiring it is to squeeze. T.T
thanks goodness we have a turbo car, & a 7-seater car.
it makes us up genting.
went to e theme park to play rollar coaster & e one that goes right up.
only two rides that took us 3hrs.
so pathetic huhs? nvm. i sat both. it's alright.
not much thrill since i'm so used to singapore's one anyways.
but it's darn cold, it is.
no sweater no jacket. just a long sleeve shirt i have.
dhen we went back to e lobby for food.
eating once again, my appetite wasn't well.
so i didn't have much again.
went all e way down to kl once more.
wanted to go chinatown.
spent my fucking hours to find for them.
& when we arrive alr, they want go back again.
oh, my fucking god.
for god's damn sake, say it earlier lahrs.
waste my precious time to search for it ..
dhen they went to eat again! dots.
eating is a must for them. omfg.
i cnt stand it lahrs, i went shopping myself.
LOLS. with my mom to be precise.
didn't buy much lahrs.
just a pair of flip flops, thats it.
shop .. shop .. shop .. nth to my liking.
i finally had my sleep.

sunday, 1o12o6
went swimming, freezing cold in e morning.
besides i wasn't feeling good.
anyways i went too lahrs.
dhen after that went back to wash up & pack up.
feeling so terrible, went down to starbucks for breakfast.
i couldn't stand it any longer.
I PUKED AROUND! so sorry.
outside starbucks, once.
feeling sososo terrible lahrs.
everybody went shopping i didn't.
too terrible if i'd go.
went back hotel to rest for more.
once again, i puked more at e lobby. dots.
for don't know how many time,
which dirtied e entire place. so sorry.
what's more, it's times square. T.T
e bellboy or whosoever so anxious,
told my dad if ambulance is needed.
that's what i've heard if i ain't wrong.
no need so serious i suppose. =.=
nvm, thanks to him anyways.
i went back slept awhile, felt much better.
but still terrible.
wanted to go shopping but everybody is back.
fucked up. soso nvm.
i walked around EMPTY HANDED!
blahblahblahs, walk around.
nth to my liking. we left.
for hours, we arrived singapore.
still shopping in betweens lahrs.
but i didn't buy anything still.

monday, 1112o6
so tired, woke up so late.
didn't go for psl training.
feeling so terrible alr, i couldn't do anything.

tuesday, 1212o6
went for psl training. forced to..
feeling terrible once again.
didn't went anywhr.

three days out of town; many things happen.
it's always when i'm away, tons of things happen.
i don't understand why. so stressed up, it all i could say.
so deprived from sleep last night.
i let it come smoothly,
i let it go smoothly.
even if it feels terrible, i let go.
no matter what the smile will nvr fade. no worries.
nth will be seen from e cover,
i swear it'll be a great nice wrap up. it will.
i doubt anybody feels how it is like,
hear e story, hear e truth? your choice.
it's just so terrible. it'll be better leaving me alone.

now i can only ask for is;
get me the only thing that could stop the pain i'm having & put it to an end.
我选择一走了之
it e best way out for everybody.
even if it's to my unwillingness.
for e sake of other; i won't mind.
take it as i'm selfish dhen.
just like what shernette jie says.
"i'm so selfish, that i could bring myself to do such things"
e scoldings will work somedays, but not for e current.
my selfishness would bring everybody a better life,
it's a neverending promise.
i swear it will be. i hope so lahrs. =.=''

days have passed, many thing occurred.
many things change, just like e weather does.
human chang, just like e season around us.
every new thing happen in everyday.
it's always unpredictable. we have to accept it;
no matter what it is. it's just reality, our life.
reality is reality, nothing can be changed.
it's just fated, everything's fixed.
best way not to get hurt by anything, by anybody is:
easy come easy go. treat nothing happen when it goes.
treat it light when it comes.
it's easier to let go lohrs.
but what's said is always easier than done lahrs.
until one really experience dhen have every right lohrs.
thru e year, e days, e times; a bunch of great sisters i'm having now.
i'm really glad so. all that advice they're giving helps.
e brothers i have is great, especially kelvin kor.
he's been my side many days, keeping me company.
advices nvr lacks from him, he's a great kor to really have, xD
sister, brother; all that i have are great. i love them.

apologies to those who gave advices & yet didn't turn out great.
i'm sorry, i chose not to listen. really sorry.
i chose e tough way, e bad way. i know it's dumb.
but it's e only way out for all i can think of.
for everybody's info; if you wanna' know ask me.
perhaps i'll say it. it depends.

e above written words could be meant junk to you,
so ignore it if it's lame; if you think so.
close e blog & leave or continue reading. lols.
kind of lame now, & yeas i know it.

e two letters i've ****** will nvr fade;
even if they do, i'll ***** it back.
e past of me might return once again,
still unsure still don't know.
hope it doesn't cos it'll be a terrible thing.

many things happen, won't elaborate much.
just some rough details.
minor quarrels, major quarrels, guiltiness, hatred,
happiness & missing occurs.
e happening, e moods of mine.
quarrels for of cos there's misunderstandings.
guiltiness, something occurrs. ask me; you'll know.
hatred, being irritated by someone.
happiness, felt blessed with everything i'm having.
missing, i miss tons of ppl! ((:
& it's all that occurs thru the day that have passed.

it's terribly late now, still unable to sleep.
i'd be leaving for malaysia 2pm friday, which is today.
meeting sisters thr, i hope so lahrs. =x

almost died today, due to hunger.
LOLS. practically i forgot to eat for don't know how many days.
so i ate today. haaas.
so manymanymany things happened today lehrs.
sorry to those if i think i've vent my anger on.
cos i was really mad lahrs with some people,
who keeps on irritating me. damndamn inrritated.
did something damn stupid today,
due to somethings that occurr.
& i'm soso sad nahrs. hais.
still unsure about e matter.
i don't know. hais.
should i be happy or sad? don't know lahrs.
& i'm sososo free tml lols.
going out finally. gonna' rot soon. xDD

i'm so fucking bored!
i suppose i ain't going out anymore for this week.
not chevrons, not anywhr else.
i just don't have e mood. shag.
had lots of fun ytd, i suppose.
thou i didn't like ytd that much.
cos of some things that cropped up.
i love bryan baobeii so much lahrs, always so cute wan.
haaahs. had lots of fun with him ytd.
went expo, bhot new com&blahs.
&& LCD tv for e car. weeeets*
new plasma tv for e living room,
new tv & speakers for my room! lold.
bhot it all these within e month lahrs.
gonna' buy new dvd player for my room;
cos e old wan is damaged by ME! xDD
but all not bhot by me lahrs. i not that rich.
i'm totally broke when i go out with my cousins & friends.
haaas. & now still need prepare christmas gift lehrs.
oh for goodness sake, whr on earth can i find e money!
quarrelled with my fucking brother last night!
just cos of a small complain i made.
& i don't give a damn to him alr lahrs.
saturday, everybody went to dragonfly.
fucking shit; we're underage.
so kids didn't go! oh-oh.
soso sunday uncle treated me carlsberg!
haaahs. he's sososo kind lahrs!
but cnt drink too much;
cos empty stomach for e entire day. LOLS.
today drank red wine, with 100plus. lols.
kind of weird nahrs, too strong alr.
half cup & i'm barely clear. haaas.
but it's fantastic! ((:

BORING!
i ain't going to my cousin's hse anymore;
if i've told you i am going. LOLS.
didn't felt like going, & i'm tired too.
here i am seeing both my jie&kor sad;
yet i couldn't help them hais.
woke up at 12nn by some msg-es.
slept at 4am & woke up so darn early.
ate & all for an hour. friendster-ing again.
house gonna' be empty again nahrs,
maid&sister going out to shop. =.=
e rest out to work,
night everybody going to dragonfly!
shit asses! wonder when can i go!
it's sososo damn boring to rot at home lahrs. hais.
somebody jio me out please. (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICHOLAS!

lols. it's so late lehrs. midnight.
a new day again. & oh i think it's nicholas' birthday.
it should be, he didn't deny anyways. lols.
i'm terribly bored.
having my daily life to be like this.
friendstering day&night; without fail.
it's boring with the kind of life i'm leading.
some pranks in moments of days.
some sorrow, some happiness that makes the days.
some hard work, some entertainment filling up my days.
it's all the days i've been living in, that has passed.
manymany things happened recently, minor quarrels.
& alot more. just too many to list out.
weird & freakish things do happen.
friendster is kind of lag recently,
& i don't know why many ppl keep adding me.
which is sososo absurb! bored.